In the past few weeks it has been released that obesity levels are rising, and I’m writing this blog following on from something that was said to me following this news event – they said to me ‘you’re obese and need to lose weight, especially in your job’.

Now, I’m not overweight by any stretch of the imagination, let alone obese. I’m a size 10-12, which is below the UK average in clothes size. (Currently standing at a size 16). I’m not saying who said this, but it has had an effect on me. When you have had to cope with depression, anxiety and panic attack’s in the past, and still get anxiety/ panic attacks under certain situations, this comment is not helpful. Not forgetting that I constantly struggle with image due to Cerebral Palsy.

I actually think I’m OK body wise all things considered. Yes, there are areas I don’t like, but that’s up to me to work on and no one else to say so. We all have body issues, but just consider how much harder I have to work on mine. I’ve been in an abusive relationship where I was constantly told I was fat, and my self confidence just completely went from me! No one knows how that makes you feel mentally when you’re constantly being belittled because of your weight.

Anyway it got me thinking – has the media and more importantly social media, affected society more to be a perfect size? Has it made people think curvy is not sexy? Models have to be a certain size, models and even fitness models are pushed to have that perfect lean thin look. Why do companies think that this is the ideal way to market fitness, not realising that the mental implications on the general public. Their potential clients. I have seen a rise in curvy fitness instructors, which I LOVE, as this shows clients that’s it’s about being fit and healthy and not being a size 8! The media have portrayed that a size 6-8 is the perfect image – that is not realistic and actually can affect people in other ways. So as an example, as a single disabled woman I have always struggled with dating.

Unfortunately, dating sites all go on that first impression, aka your looks, so you swipe either way. They don’t let you get to know someone for their personality, which is what is a fundamental part of a relationship. A relationship is not built on looks alone; but most guys in my world unfortunately, want that so called perfect image -that image the media have portrayed. What about the perfect looking man? I’m just asking an open question.

So if you don’t fit that image of the perfect woman on a dating site, like having a disability, health condition etc most guys run a mile in the opposite direction. Having a disability I don’t get asked out when I’m out and about, as I’m different to all the other girls, and yet I’m not asking for much in wanting a nice guy to actually have a relationship with. And yes disabled people can have a fully normal relationship with a person they are attracted too. Which is another thing the media have distorted. For the majority of us we are perfectly able to have a sexual relationship. What has happened to the good old fashioned way of getting to know someone? Chivalry in most men has died out. I have very rarely had guys on dates hold a door open for me, pull a chair out, walk on the outside of the path for me. Alot of ladies still like a guy to have these qualities. Unfortunately most men have given internet dating a bad rep and it’s now so much harder for us single girls to meet a nice honest guy.

So, my question is, is the rise in mental health conditions partly to do with the media portrayal of that perfect image and everyone trying to conform to it?

Everyone has that one part of there body they hate, but has to accept. Beauty is more than just the exterior, it’s about what is inside and who we are as people. But most importantly it’s about being happy with who you are as a person and loving yourself the way nature intended you to be. You were born the way you are for a reason. Keep to that and be the best you can be, be happy and you will attract the right people around you for just being yourself.

So, how do I feel about the original comment of my being obese? I’m not obese, I love the body that I have been given. It’s not perfect, but none of us are, whether you are a model or not. Trust me, there is no such thing as perfect.